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Fox News host Tucker Carlson obliterated CNN’s list of potential 2024 Democrat presidential candidates during his Wednesday night monologue where he criticized the outlet for their apparent realization that President Joe Biden is old, and despite the myriad of problems plaguing the nation, CNN chose to highlight their list of out of touch candidates to replace him.
Carlson’s test for the competency of a leader is simple, they must understand the issues that really matter.
“Inflation will make this country poor and it will do it faster than anything else will. Anyone who doesn’t understand that intuitively is an idiot or is irresponsible or both,” Carlson stated on “Tucker Carlson Tonight.”
“If you think COVID or climate change or police brutality or Iran is a bigger threat to the United States than the devaluation of the U.S. dollar, then you, by definition, should not be making meaningful decisions. You’re a moron,” he added.
(Source: Fox News)
The Fox News host took a swipe at CNN for just now realizing that Biden is “elderly and unpopular.” Instead of reporting on the labor shortage, the increasing price of food, toys and just about everything else ahead of the holiday season, or the crisis on the border, CNN was instead promoting their list of replacements for Ol’ Joe.
“Joe Biden has served his biological purpose. He stopped Bernie Sanders in the primaries. He made America safe for private equity. Carried interest is still in the tax code. Mission accomplished. So it’s time to pull Joe Biden off the stage before he gets even older and less popular. That’s what they’re thinking,” Carlson said of Democrats.
Their first recommendation to replace Biden is Vice President Kamala Harris. While that choice is obvious, it’s also far-fetched given her tanking ratings in the polls and general unlike-ability.
“Kamala Harris is a charmless phony who has such total and utter contempt for your intelligence that she fully expects you to believe that her fake laugh is real…Kamala Harris is totally incompetent. She has zero skills. She’s never done anything. Harris can’t redecorate her own office. She tried recently, and she made it uglier. So this isn’t going to work. We’re going to have to take Kamala Harris off the list. Sorry,” the Fox News host remarked.
The next recommendation was Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.
“If CNN anchors could do science, which of course they can’t, but if they could, Pete Buttigieg is the candidate they would create in their basement lab. Rhodes scholar, McKinsey consultant, no actual achievements of any kind,” Carlson mused.
Buttigieg couldn’t run South Bend, Indiana when he was mayor, he could never competently run a country. Carlson ascribes the former presidential candidate’s own narcissism as the reason he continues to fail as a leader.
“Buttigieg has never shown any interest in improving the lives of actual people. His only real skill is talking about himself,” the Fox News host remarked.
The formerly, self-identified American Indian, Elizabeth Warren was CNN’s next genius recommendation.
“Elizabeth Warren is the candidate for voters who find Kamala Harris too authentic. Kamala is just too real for me,” Carlson jested, recalling the awkward video of Warren in her kitchen, drinking a beer with her husband that induced second-hand embarrassment from viewers as Warren pretended to be normal.
“If you’re going to replace someone as old and familiar as Joe Biden is, you’re going to need someone fresh and new, someone whose faults the country isn’t already very familiar with,” Carlson said.
If none of those candidates did it for you, CNN put forward Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker, who once admitted that he had no idea how he broke his own leg.
“Pritzker may be the only elected Democrat in America who is unhealthier than Joe Biden…Now we’re not judging, obviously. But is this really the president you need during a COVID pandemic? J.B. Pritzker is a walking underlying condition. Plus, and not incidentally, he has destroyed the state of Illinois,” the Fox News host surmised.
The left-leaning outlet also suggested Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan and Phil Murphy of New Jersey.
“Now you read that, and you pause and you begin to suspect that maybe this whole list is CNN’s stealthy attempt to test you to see what you will believe. How ludicrous can they write it…It feels like some pothead intern at CNN just pulled up the Wikipedia entry for Democratic governors, and they copied their names into the story. That’s got to be what happened. How else did Gretchen Whitmer make the list? Come on now,” Carlson said.
Former Mayor Mitch Landrieu of New Orleans made the list, but a bit of critical thinking removes him all the same.
“But the question is, how’s New Orleans doing these days? Is it cleaner? Is it safer? Is it a better place to live? How are the schools? Come on. If you’ve been there, you know,” the Fox News host stated.
CNN’s final recommendation was none other than self-proclaimed Georgia governor and erotic novelist, Stacey Abrams.
Aside from being unqualified for the job, Carlson notes that she is totally delusional and still has not conceded the governor’s election.
The Fox News host imagined a surreal scene of Abrams standing on the west front of the Capitol building on her inauguration day, reading her own words from one of her erotics novels.
“Somehow, strange as it sounds, we can imagine that. In fact, we can imagine it vividly. CNN will be thrilled by the whole thing, and we know for certain that Jeff Toobin would cover it,” Carlson joked.
No matter how abysmal CNN’s recommendation list may be, it draws one abundantly clear conclusion– there is no respect for or fear of Joe Biden among the Democrat Party.
Biden has not been able to get his legacy, the massive, tax-and-spend package dubbed “Build Back Better” over the finish line, and the longer it remains in limbo, the more Joe appears to be a lame duck.
While Democrats turn their eyes to 2024 despite Biden’s insistence he will run for a second term, there are still three years left of his first term, leaving plenty of time for CNN to revise their list.
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Kay Apfel is a writer for BizPac Review. A news junkie turned conservative politico, Kay currently resides in Washington, DC.
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