News/Commentary

Chelsea Handler’s PSA about ‘horny old men’ ahead of Father’s Day draws interesting mix of comments

June 17, 2023 | | Print Article

Chelsea Handler released a public service announcement to her social media accounts during the week, warning viewers of “a new epidemic,” and the reactions reveal a fascinating contrast between Twitter and the Instagram crowd.

Dressed in her pajamas, a straight-faced Handler had a message for America: Beware the “horny old men.”

“There’s a new epidemic sweeping the country, and no, it’s not another virus,” the former late-night diva began. “It’s worse: Horny old men who won’t stop spreading their seed.”

The comedian went on to slam actors Al Pacino, 83; Robert De Niro, 79; Alec Baldwin, 65; and, for good measure, Twitter owner Elon Musk, 51.

Both De Niro and Pacino recently became fathers once again.

“Don’t even get me started on these four horny old men who have never met a broken condom they didn’t like,” Handler continued. “They can not stop procreating. Between the four of those guys, they have 32 children.”

She isn’t wrong.

Pacino’s 29-year-old girlfriend, Noor Alfallah, recently gave birth to their first child, a son they named Roman. He marks Pacino’s fourth child

“Robert De Niro just had his seventh child at the tender age of 79,” Handler reports.

Despite the drama of their lives, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin have seven kids together, and Ireland, the daughter he famously shares with Kim Basinger, makes eight for the controversial actor.

And then there’s Elon Musk.

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“Elon Musk clearly isn’t as old as Murdoch or De Niro,” Handler says. “He’s not in his eighties, but because of his personality, he may as well be.”

The GenX billionaire has ten children with three women.

“So how do we protect the women of the world from horny old men?” Handler asked. “Don’t worry. I have a plan to stop this madness, and I’m offering to put myself up for auction.”

“For any available octogenarians, you can find me on E-bay or DoorDash,” she informed viewers. “And for 20% off, you can use the code ‘sugart*ts.'”

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“Actually,” she added, “maybe all these old men should put themselves up for auction. After all, they are antiques.”

On Instagram, Handler’s fans offered their kind support and condemned the “horny old men.”

“Thank you!” one user wrote. “I’m so tired of seeing headlines of this sh*t like it’s normal to be a new father in your 70s.”

(Image: Instagram screenshot)

 

They worried about the health of the babies.

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“Why is no one highlighting the link between elderly fathers, aka sperm from older men, with a higher occurrence of certain diseases and disorders?” one concerned user asked. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. It’s selfish really.”

Over on Twitter, the tone was a bit different.


So the moral of this story actually has little to do with “horny old men.”

The real PSA here is, if you’re going to slam a bunch of daddies right before Father’s Day, do it on Instagram.

Your self-esteem will thank you.

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Melissa Fine
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