New 'inclusive' condoms will bring 'wokeness' to the bedroom, because that's what sex was missing

Do you feel like something is lacking in your bedroom? Does your inclusive mentality end when you fall into bed with the partner you picked up at the most recent Antifa rally? Thanks to the “world’s first” skin tone condoms, your virtue signaling doesn’t have to end when the lights go out!

Sexual wellness brand Roam spotted a gap in the condom market when they realized that rubbers seemingly failed to represent various ethnic groups, something that is completely unacceptable by 2023 standards.

Made in the UK, these prophylactics are not only good for your social credit, but they’re also good for the environment! The packaging contains 40% less plastic than traditional condom packets, so your carbon footprint only lasts as long as your relationships!

A spokesperson for Roam touted the decision to invite inclusion into the bedroom.

“Roam has been built to end the stigma and shame in shopping for sex for everyone,” they said. “Legacy brands have failed to address nuanced needs of all sexually active communities. The launch of our Skin Tone Condoms presents a choice that has never existed before, one that celebrates individuality. Designed to be the perfect balance between sensation and safety to protect your pleasure and community.” Yeah, that’s what people who use condoms are worried about…

The socially-conscious rubbers come in four colors: Dark Brown, Medium Brown, Light Brown and Original Latex. Three sizes, slim, regular, and large are available. It is unclear whether using a color that does not mirror your skin tone will be considered cultural appropriation.

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