Humor

Babylon Bee shares recently rejected headlines: ‘If you think the headlines we publish aren’t funny…’

March 6, 2022 | | Print Article

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The prophetically funny Babylon Bee shared a swath of rejected headlines from last week proving that no matter how bad it may seem in the world, there is a whole lot to poke fun at in 2022 A.D.

“If you think the headlines we publish at @TheBabylonBee aren’t funny, just wait til you see what was rejected! Here are some unused pitches from my writers over the past 5 or 6 days:” Kyle Mann, the head honcho of the Christian satire news site tweeted.

Mann shared almost two dozen rejected headlines, starting off the fun with the comical – and highly accurate – pitch, “Betty White Mysteriously Silent On Ukraine Invasion,” which several readers didn’t want to laugh at, but nonetheless still hesitantly found hilarious.

The self-proclaimed “world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims” writes satire about “Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.”

And they delivered with several politically charged headlines included in the rejects like: “Kamala Harris Reviews ‘The Batman’: ‘He’s a man. Who Looks Like A Bat. Who Fights Bad Guys.”

There was also a proposed story that served as a satirical and stern warning for holdouts that haven’t yet joined the social media army with their support for Ukraine: “People Who Haven’t Changed Profile Picture to Ukrainian Flag Added To FBI Terrorist Watchlist.”

The writers promoting “Fake news you can trust!” also manage to weave the current political situation into everyday life and to that end one reject read, “Husband Announces Sanctions Against Wife After She Invades His Side Of Bed Again.”

Woke liberals often find themselves as the butt of the joke at the Babylon Bee, but Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s forelegs captured the attention of one writer who suggested, “Pelosi Rubs Forelegs Together In Signal For Her Insect Hordes To Commence Their Uprising.”

Other headlines that will make you chuckle – but still didn’t make the cut included:

What’s more, is that the satirical headlines – that are equal parts humor and truth – often come to pass.

On Feb 17, the Babylon Bee ran with the headline, “Researchers Determine The Science Has Changed After Carefully Examining Poll Numbers.”

Soon after, reporter Megan Basham tweeted a Feb 24 memo from a research organization that suggested Democrats should end the pandemic in their messaging in order to maintain as many voters in the upcoming midterm elections that there is predicted to be a red wave sweep across the country.

“Another one of our @TheBabylonBee prophecies fulfilled,” Mann proclaimed on Twitter with a screenshot of the original Babylon Bee headline and tweet from Basham confirming it had come true.

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A Hill
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