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‘Hand me my mimosa bitches’: Mary Katherine Ham delivers brutal ‘explainer’ on behalf of every fuming parent

February 25, 2022 | | Print Article

CNN’s Mary Katharine Ham believs she understands why parents may seem a bit mad.

So, make-up free and sitting behind the wheel of her car, she took to YouTube and in six minutes, destroyed school boards, teachers’ unions, and our nation’s leaders and became the non-partisan voice of every single parent in America.

And you may want to grab an adult beverage for this rant because Ham is demanding a mimosa for all the nonsense parents have had to put up with.

“I need to say something,” Ham began. “Call it ‘explanatory journalism’ for those politicians, op-ed writers, school boards and union leaders, who still don’t seem to understand why the parents seem so upset. Ohhh… it is a real head-scratcher.”

“Public schools were closed for a motherf***ing year. A year,” she stated. “And y’all thought that nothing would happen?”

Ham then reminded viewers that those schools that didn’t close down in the face of COVID were demonized in Democratic-run cities.

“They weren’t closed everywhere, and God bless the places that were smart and brave enough to open in fall of 2020 and serve children,” she said. “Those places were all, of course, looked down upon by the experts in major metro areas of this country who closed schools for a year. A year! Northern Virginia was among the worst, but San Francisco, Chicago, L.A., Seattle — they just closed schools.”

“And that’s not the problem,” she continued. “Initial fear? Confusion? I get it. But leadership didn’t try to open them again. The default in every major blue metro area — the places that I’m to understand care most about equity and public education — was to keep the doors closed to students of every race and income, to kids with learning challenges, to kids with severe disabilities, to kids with legally-required IEPs [Individualized Education Programs] — doors closed.”

She then perfectly articulated the hypocrisy of those who scream about equity while leaving those without substantial resources to “languish” under woke policies.

“Those with resources fled public schools for private schools and homeschooling,” she stated, adding, “Those private schools, by the way, opened safely, sometimes blocks down the street from public schools.”

“Those without resources languished as educators told the parents they are now saying should have no say in this whole thing that, ‘Nahh. Being on a screen for four to seven hours a day is good now. I know we told you it was bad before, but it’s actually good, so don’t worry about it,” she continued. “Spoiler alert: It was very bad.”

Ham stated that, while parents were initially willing to give school boards a “grace period for fear, standard incompetence,” by spring, they were starting to get “antsy.”

But that wasn’t the worst of it. Parents, as Ham pointed out, were forced to pay more for substantially less than they bargained for.

“Look, the doors of the school weren’t always closed,” Ham said. “No, no, no, no, no. They opened public school buildings to paid child care programs, so that the parents who weren’t getting the school that they paid for in taxes could pay more money to send their kids to a school building where they would be taught on Zoom by teachers who weren’t there, while being supervised by people who were willing to be there.”

“I can’t express how angry that made people,” she stated.

“Meanwhile, school boards are renaming school buildings to right our historic wrongs and buying electric school buses,” she continued. “Oh, congratulations. Congratulations!”

“Look,” Ham added, “plenty of parents don’t even disagree with these policies, but there were no kids in the school buildings and no kids on the buses.”

Parents and children routinely had their hopes raised and dashed, according to Ham, with little thought given to how school boards and leaders with their arbitrary decisions were impacting the lives of every mom and dad.

“They sent email after stupid email about how they might let your kids come back to school on such-and-such date, and you’d tell your kids, and they’d be excited, and they’d they backed out at the last minute, sending you a 7 p.m. email, leaving you with no way to plan for the next day — over and over again,” Ham said.

She then focused on the effort to keep parents out of their kids’ education.

“And then, there’s the curriculum,” she stated. “You have parents play Zoom butler for a year, bringing their kids pencils and pens and blue items that begin with the letter ‘M’ into the dining room, and then you want to tell them that they have no say in curriculum.”

“You can get away with a lot of nonsense when you hold functional school,” she stated, “but when you don’t, people have questions.”

“And look,” Ham continued, “you’re not going to like some of their remedies. You’re not going to like some of their questions. Great. Argue against them. But do not pretend that the anger is fake and didn’t come from failures of leadership in school systems. ”

When vaccines became available, Ham pointed out, they made little difference in terms of opening the classrooms.

“Well, where I am, we let teachers and administrators jump the line, to the front of the vaccine line in January of 2021. Happy to do it,” Ham said. “Did they go back to school? They did not.”

And as the on-fire journalist pointed out, the only ones who were rewarded for all the grief were the schools that stayed shut.

“Then, on a federal level, we passed just tons, tons of money in aid to ‘get schools open,’ even though schools were already open safely in Europe and all around this country, thereby rewarding the schools that didn’t open, instead of the schools that did, in many cases,” she said.

But the final straw was the treatment of the exhausted parents.

“And the icing on this just terrible cake was that, when parents had the temerity to get upset about any of this, they were treated like crap,” she said. “Some of them were taken aback. They had not assumed that the relationship between them and the school boards and the teachers’ unions was adversarial. This was news to them.”

“But now they know,” she continued. “Twenty-twenty and 2021 taught them something new… Leaders called them wannabe child sacrificers. They called them racist, privileged, unqualified, anti-science.”

“And that,” she states, “is why a bunch of parents, from me to San Fran-damn-cisco are upset.”

“We are not all conservative,” she said. “We are not all liberal. We are not all white or rich or AstroTurf or whatever it is that you would like to fool yourselves into thinking we are. We are people who care about our children and have no reason to trust the people who closed schools for a year.”

Ham ended by countering the leftists’ long-running collective jab at parents.

“I birthed three of these children myself, and my desire to fight for them is way stronger than my pelvic floor and far stronger than whatever you want to throw at me,” she stated. “And there’s a ton of people who feel that way. And you want to tell me all I want is my babysitters and my brunch back?”

“First we’d all be so lucky if the public schools were as reliable as my babysitter and as delightful as my brunches. But, if that’s the insult, I will own it,” she added. “Hand me my mimosa bitches, because this ride has just begun.”

And Mary Katharine Ham could not be more correct.

Social media exploded in their support of her epic rant.

Yes, in just six minutes, Mary Katharine Ham transcended partisan politics, spoke from her heart, and became the voice of America.

 

 

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