It seems like every other day scientists release yet another ridiculous — and oftentimes expensive — study pertaining to your life and how they think you should live it.
According to one study touted by Fox News just last week, Americans should avoid consuming coffee promptly after they wake up in the morning and instead wait for an hour.
Why? Well, according to Fox News Radio host Tom Shillue, the why doesn’t even matter.
“My daily coffee ritual is just that — a ritual,” he opines in a recent column. “I grind the beans, boil the water, carefully pour the water over the grounds, smell the aroma, pour the beautiful dark liquid into my glass cup, and then I behold may work, before moving in for the sip. It’s a wonderful part of my day.”
“So, now I’m told – ‘you’re doing it wrong, Tom.’ That I should change my behavior to get more ‘benefit.’ But the assumption is that the main benefit from a morning coffee is medicinal, that coffee is a delivery system for alertness and productivity. Is that really what it is for most people?”
Once again telling truth to power! https://t.co/jxGStfzwv3
— Tom Shillue (@tomshillue) December 15, 2018
A comedian turned political commentator, Shillue believes the apparent focus by scientists on making coffee drinking — or really any other activity — more productive is misguided. Whatever happened to just savoring the moment, he seems to wonder.
“This is coming from someone who is an admittedly a productivity freak. I love having a system and plotting the different ways to make my workday more efficient. But it’s important for me to separate mere ‘tasks’ from ‘joys,'” his column continues.
“Coffee is a joyous part of my day. I wouldn’t give it up for a more efficient “kick’. That’s why I like to make it myself and drink it from a real cup (ceramic is fine, but glass is my preferred vessel) and not a paper one.”
The radio show host finished his piece by sharing the lyrics to the classic song “Coffee in a Cardboard Cup.”
“Well said, gentlemen! Now, I’ll ask the scientists to leave my morning coffee ritual alone,” Shillue concluded.
The host ran the piece after Fox ran a report early last week that used a scientific study from 2009 to tell the network’s readers that “[w]e should stop drinking coffee first thing in the morning.”
Over the years thousands upon thousands upon thousands of additional studies have posited similar conclusions about a variety of food items and beverages, including of course coffee.
Regarding coffee, in particular, a study last year found that drinking coffee daily lowers the risk of dying from cancer, stroke, diabetes and kidney disease. Yet another study from years earlier found that drinking too much coffee increases the risk of death in those under the age of 55.
So which is it? Will drinking coffee daily save you or kill you? And what about those like Shillue who choose to drink coffee the moment they wake up — are they destined for death? (R.I.P.)
Better yet, who cares … !?
Maybe, just maybe, instead of studying the daily — and otherwise innocuous — habits of people, scientists should focus on more important matters, such as why are former Vice President Al Gore’s doomsday predictions always wrong. Now that there is a true scientific puzzle if one ever existed.
Jokes aside, Shillue isn’t alone in his exasperation.
Quote pulled from an article Mr. Shillue wrote about a recent “study” on when the best time to drink coffee is.
— Cherrise Boucher (@CherriseBoucher) December 15, 2018
Leave me alone! This new coffee study is just nonsense.https://t.co/klsjPC8oxO
— Maija Lipasti (@MaijaLipasti) December 16, 2018
I’m with Tom on this one! https://t.co/g5pDfgrN66
— ProblematicWoman (@HeidiWindham) December 15, 2018
Tom Shillue: Latest coffee study is nonsense – leave my morning ritual alone! JUST STUPID LIBERAL LOGIC!https://t.co/QXdNy1vGg5
— Freedom One (@FreedomOne3) December 15, 2018
But it may not be a liberal vs conservative issue. Two years ago liberal comedian John Oliver shared his own take regarding these nonstop studies, particularly those about coffee.
“In just the last few months, we’ve seen studies about coffee that it may reverse the effects of liver damage, help prevent colon cancer, decrease the risk of endometrial cancer, and increase the risk of miscarriage,” he jokingly lamented. “Coffee today is like God in the Old Testament — it will either save you or kill you depending on how much you believe in its magic powers.”
While scientists are no doubt intelligent people, one weakness they all seem to suffer from is the inability to recognize that sometimes a cup of coffee is just a cup of coffee.
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