‘Scientist’ glues himself inside car plant, complains when facility won’t provide ‘decent manner’ to poop

Everyone goes, but what happens when your biological needs clash with your methods of activism?

A “researcher in social psychology” by the name of Gianluca Gimalda had that dubious honor of discovering what happens when you protest by gluing your hand to a floor, then finding yourself in desperate need of a bathroom.

It all started when he and other members of the group “Scientist Rebellion” walked into Autostadt and superglued their hands to the floor of the Porsche pavilion. Apparently, this was their attempt at advocating for the climate or something. (And in case that doesn’t work, they’re on a hunger strike.)

To their shock, the entire auto industry didn’t immediately cave into their demands. In fact, they were left sitting there for so long, some of them had to use the restroom. But something funny happens when you adhere yourself to an immobile surface: You can’t get up to go. So they demanded yet another thing – A bowl to use in lieu of a toilet.

They were refused, and the heater was turned off.

A third tweet complained that supporters of the cause who left the building were not allowed to re-enter, and the protesters were only allowed to eat the food provided by Volkswagen. Oh, and the guards carried bright flashlights.

The group glued to the floor actually slept in the building that night and awoke the next morning to list their demands to the Volkswagen CEO.

It took 24 hours for Grimalda to tap out, though. He reported swelling in the hand that was glued to the floor and doctors were called. He claims they confirmed the possibility of “life-threatening blood clots in my hand” and he was ripped off the floor like a bandaid and taken to the hospital. (Okay, not really, but it would have been funnier that way.)

But 42 hours after the “peaceful occupation” began, it was ended by police, and arrests were made.

Twitter was not impressed by the “scientist” or his protest, with many questioning whether he is actually a scientist at all:

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