NY Times to Hillary: Bring the b*tch back

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd has Hillary Clinton’s problem solved: The woman who wants to be anointed the Democrat candidate for president in 2016 can get the nomination by being exactly the kind of person conservatives already think she is.

Unpleasant, shrill and bossy (not to mention dishonest, calcluating and possibly criminal). In a word: b*tch.

As Dowd and a lot of other liberal pundits see it, Hillary’s big problem is that first she lost the nomination to Barack Obama in 2008 largely because of her Senate vote in favor of the Iraq war – one she cast, according to Dowd, because she had tried following her husband’s advice of projecting strength to the American people.

That didn’t pay off, Dowd wrote Sunday in a column headlined “Granny get your gun.”

Hillary saw the foolishness of acting like a masculine woman defending the Iraq invasion after she fell behind to a feminized man denouncing it. After losing Iowa and watching New Hampshire slip away to the tyro, Barack Obama, Hillary cracked. She misted up, talking to a group of voters in New Hampshire when a woman asked her how she kept going, while staying “upbeat and so wonderful.”

She ended up winning New Hampshire, against the Obama tide.

Now, according to Dowd, Hillary’s taking that lesson in humanity too far, pretending to be grandmotherly and caring – riding in a van she pretends to call “Scooby” for God’s sake – but that’s an even worse act.

Dowd writes:

In her Iowa round tables, she acted as though she were following dating tips from 1950s advice columnists to women trying to “trap” a husband: listen a lot, nod a lot, widen your eyes, and act fascinated with everything that’s said. A clip posted on her campaign Facebook page showed her sharing the story of the day her granddaughter was born with some Iowa voters, basking in estrogen as she emoted about the need for longer paid leave for new mothers: “You’ve got to bond with your baby. You’ve got to learn how to take care of the baby.”

Dowd’s solution?

Bring back the b*tch.

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler showed the way in 2008, deploring the sexism against Hillary and hailing her as the unapologetically tough chick. It was a precursor to her cool “Don’t mess with me” Tumblr meme, showing her with dark glasses serenely checking her BlackBerry on a military plane.

“Bitches get stuff done,” Fey proclaimed in a “Weekend Update” segment on “Saturday Night Live” that ended with, “Bitch is the new black.”

That might be true patterning a political campaign on characters from a weekend comedy sketch show might not be the brightest thing in the world. Patterning an actual presidency on it would be disastrous.

On the other hand, it could mean that Hillary would be able to stop acting.

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