The first case of Ebola in New York City has been confirmed, but one news anchor is assuring locals they will be fine as long as they refrain from eating infected feces.
Ebola worries have been heightened in the recent weeks. Although two nurses contracted the virus after caring for “patient zero,” Thomas Duncan, some health officials and political leaders continue to say that Ebola is not a serious threat to average Americans.
In a stunning display of liberal logic, New York City news anchor, Errol Louis, assured locals that they would be fine as long as they followed his strict protocol of not eating bodily fluids or secretions. Because as we all know, that’s a huge problem.
“If you came across some strange mucus or feces or something out there on the street, on the subway, or anywhere else, don’t eat it,” Louis said. “Don’t let it get into your body, don’t touch it.”
Did someone ask the nurses who contracted the virus if they ingested Thomas Duncan’s bodily fluids? (Because according to Louis, that’s the only way that would have been possible.)
But instead of embracing the protocol, Twitter users poked fun at his absurd statement:
Exactly. Have all poop tested for Ebola before eating it. RT @englishanj: Urgent: New Yorkers: do not eat Ebola infected poop.
— Jeff Haws (@JeffHaws) October 24, 2014
Favorite ebola advice so far: @errollouis advising us not to eat feces.
— Brent Burket (@HeartAsArena) October 24, 2014
I’m not going to give up the things I enjoy “@joshuatopolsky: Anchor on NY1 definitely just said “don’t eat” feces you find out and about”
— Dan McGuirk (@incandenza) October 24, 2014
Anchor on NY1 definitely just said “don’t eat” feces you find out and about
— Joshua Topolsky (@joshuatopolsky) October 24, 2014
This is fantastic advice, and not just for avoiding exposure to Ebola:http://t.co/rND54vAVvh
— Michael Mirer (@michaelmirer) October 24, 2014
If you eat poop, maybe don’t do that for awhile, anchor says #Ebola http://t.co/wufoWwhTEE
— Bill San Antonio (@Bill_SanAntonio) October 24, 2014
Don’t eat feces today. Got it, news guy! http://t.co/hXhtfYpmIz
— Jared Moore (@MrJaredMoore) October 24, 2014
Oh no. How much exposure do you need to get ebola? Like if on Wednesday I was just eating a lot of poop in Wiliamsburg, am I in trouble?
— Dru JohnBoo! (@drujohnston) October 24, 2014
.@errollouis is my friend, so when it comes to his don’t-eat-poop Ebola advice, don’t expect me to dump on HIM; I blame his No. 2.
— RobBOO A. George (@RobGeorge) October 24, 2014
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