Man brutally stomps someone’s face, sues Nike – it was the shoes’ fault

Sirgiorgiro Clard
Sirgiorgiro Clardy’s mug shot. Photo credit: The Oregonian

A Portland, Ore., pimp serving a 100-year sentence for stomping a man’s face has filed a $100 million lawsuit against the shoe manufacturer for not providing a label warning that his Air Jordans could be a dangerous weapon.

Sirgiorgiro Clardy, 26, had decided to settle a dispute with a customer over compensation by beating the john’s face to a pulp with his Nikes, according to The Oregonian.

The jury found Clardy guilty of second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon — his shoes. Now Clardy wants Nike to pay up for not letting him know just how dangerous his Jordans were.

According to The Oregonian:

The jury also found him guilty of robbing the john and beating the 18-year-old woman he forced to work as his prostitute. She was injured so badly that she bled from her ears.

Now finding himself with lots of time on his hands during his stay at the Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution, Clardy fired off a three-page, handwritten complaint, listing all the wrongs Nike committed and holding the shoe manufacturer at least partially responsible for the beatings.

“Under product liability there is a certain standard of care that is required to be up-held by potentially dangerous product,” Clardy wrote in the complaint. “Do [sic] to the fact that these defendants named in this Tort claim failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction it has caused personal injury in the likes of mental suffering.”

The “mental suffering” is his own — not that of the victims he beat within an inch of their lives. Clardy also wrote that he’s attempted suicide multiple times.

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In addition to the $100 million in damages, Clardy wants the company to affix a label on its shoes, warning customers of the “potentially dangerous Nike and Jordan merchandise.”

Prosecutors often use the “dangerous weapon” classification to increase criminal penalties, and items like “boots, rope, a phone receiver, scalding hot water and HIV-infected blood” have been used in the past, The Oregonian reported.

The whole theory that the lawsuit is based on is ridiculous, of course. Blaming a pair of shoes for a stomping is like blaming a firearm for a shooting — and no one would do that, would they?

Nike is expected to be served with papers notifying it of the lawsuit sometime this week.

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