“Full House” actress Candace Cameron Bure had feminist faces turning 50 shades of red this last week while promoting a new book where she wrote that taking a “submissive” role in her marriage is one way she found to make it succeed.
In “Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose,” Cameron Bure wrote that her 17-year marriage to retired NHL player Valeri Bure is built on biblical principles:
“I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work.”
Cue the complaints
“This is ridiculous,” screeched HLN host Jane Velez-Mitchell, the openly lesbian host on HLN. “It takes women back decades!”
On her Friday night “Lion’s Den” segment, Velez-Mitchell went on to cite the increasing numbers of women who are the primary breadwinners of their family (she seemed to think that was a good thing, for some reason), the fact that more women than men attend college (again, is that good?) and the role of women in the work force.
Cameron Bure’s position, she said, was hopelessly out of sync.
Via Twitter, Cameron Bure shot back.
— Candace Cameron Bure (@candacecbure) January 10, 2014
And her supporters joined in.
@candacecbure Candace, I am proud of you. It takes courage these days to tell people you take the godly approach to marriage. You go girl!
— Diana Williston (@DianaWilliston) January 10, 2014
— Jillian/ItsJillStrif (@JillStrif) January 11, 2014
But her critics were tweeting, too.
— Joseph A Killeen (@JosephAKilleen) January 10, 2014
Velez-Mitchell’s guests – all women, naturally – were divided (and not screeching).
Some, like Shea Marie, a 26-year-old fashion designer in California, couldn’t abide Cameron Bure’s analysis.
“I have a real hard time with what she’s saying,” Marie said. “I really think marriage is about communication and equality. She seems like she’s taking the submissive role. What is he doing? Where is he? She’s doing everything he says?”
Others were a little kinder to Cameron Bure.
“I think I agree with her. In a relationship, there should be someone who takes on more of a leadership role,” said Tammy Roman, 43, an actress and star of VH1’s reality show “Basketball Wives.”
“Submissive doesn’t mean subservient … A man should be a provider, a protector. They’re hunter-gatherers by nature and we should allow them to take the lead role in relationships.”
Kelli Zink, host of CelebTV.com and a frequent guest with such cable staples as Nancy Grace and CNN’s “Showbiz Tonight,” said Candace Bure is getting a bad rap. A woman’s independence and submissiveness can be complementary, not contradictory at all, she said.
Handled correctly, of course.
“I’m a career woman, I have been for 34 years, but with my boyfriend I take a submissive role,” she said. “I let him think everything is his idea, and that’s also the key. If he wants to open the door, if he wants to plan things, he wants to walk on the correct side of the sidewalk, I love it.
“I think we’re going way all ’50 Shades of Gray’ on this woman for no reason.”
Cameron Bure would agree.
“Submissive” doesn’t mean weak, she told HuffPost Live.
“The definition I’m using with the word ‘submissive’ is the biblical definition of that,” she said. “So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength.”
Check out the two-part video of Velez-Mitchell’s panel here. It should liven up the dinner table tonight.
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